Dratted Death Eaters, You Mess EVERYTHING Up!
by Weasleys Against Weasleycest
Summary: The Wizarding World is at War. Will our heroes meet their doom or shall they overcome their struggles to laugh in the face of Death and Danger? Find out in the Latest installment of Dratted Death Eaters! 7.17.07. Post HBP. AU. Chapters 6&7 now up!
1. An Evil Leaky Roof and the Weasley Horde

**Title:** Dratted Death Eaters, You Mess EVERYTHING Up

**Author:** Super Smexy Snuffles

**Beta:** R. F. Lupin

**Rating: **K-M

**Warnings: **anti!canon levels may exceed critical

**Pairings: **OC/CW, BW/FD, BW/FD, HP/GW, RW/HG, FW/OC, GW/OC, RLNT, PWPC

I think that's all, but will put any new ones down when I think of them.

**Disclaimer: **If I owned Harry Potter, would I have killed Sirius or maimed Bill? I don't think so!

**A/N:** set post-HBP, and starts a short while before the Weasley Weddingfest. It is about Harry, Ron, Hermione, Neville, and a whole bunch of other people, but it mostly focuses on Kincaid, an Auror who graduated from Hogwarts with Bill, and was Charlie's first love, and Fred and George and Ron's first crush.

Chapter 1

Alexandra Kincaid awoke one devastatingly rainy, positively dreary day, to find that her roof was leaking. Well, to be more accurate, at some point in the night while she was asleep, the hole in the roof decided it needed to be bigger. She muttered several swear words in various languages, before whipping out her wand and saying "Reparo". Sadly, the hole was not really fixed, and she would have to find some way to pay to have a professional come in and fix it. Luckily for her, however, Minerva McGonagall had just hired her to be the official teacher of Ron, Fred and George Weasley, Hermione Granger, Neville Longbottom, and obviously the Potter boy.

She found that odd, considering Dumbledore had thought it best not to go that route, even before the nasty run in with those damned Death eaters. The ugly scar that now ran from her ear to her chin, just below her lips, was the only physical souvenir from her dear, dear "friend", Mrs. Bellatrix Lestrange. If Dumbledore were still alive, well, the world would have a better chance wouldn't it?

"Well, I think it's time to go." She considered just staying in her little cottage for awhile longer, but thought better of it. She was quite positive that she would be risking an unpleasant run in with Mad-Eye if she were late.

Sealing the charms on her ramshackle home, Alexandra apparated to a field near the Burrow. Time to greet the Weasley horde, and the six or seven Order members who were assigned to protect the place while Harry or anyone, actually, was in residence. It was lucky for everyone involved that several charms and enhancements had been provided by the Order and the older ones of the Weasley brood.

"Alexandra Kincaid! For an Auror of your age to be constantly late, it, well it bodes ill! In my day, when an Auror got an assignment they **immediately** went and did their duty. You youngsters don't appreciate anything these days," Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody shouted at her as she entered the Burrow.

"Ah, Alastor it is so wonderful to have your dulcet tones serenade me the moment I cross the threshold," Alexandra wearily announced. This met with snickers from the landing and an approving smile from several of the people gathered around the entry way to the Burrow. It also left Moody rather speechless, something to savor if ere there was. Soon, however, he began grumbling to himself about twenty-seven year olds and their lack of appreciation for things.

"Well, m'dear, it's good to see you. Missed you these last months in the Order meetings. Perfectly understandable, though. Now, let's move into the kitchen, you look like you haven't eaten in awhile," Mrs. Weasley said, hugging her and ushering her through the hall and into the cozy kitchen.

At this Alexandra smiled; she actually hadn't eaten in day or two, what with worrying about the Death Eaters trying to hunt her and the multitudes of things Dumbledore left for her to take care of. It was a bit distracting.

"Now, you just sit down, and catch up with everyone, and I'll round up those kids of mine. Harry Ron, Hermione should be here later or tomorrow. They're staying with those Dursley people. I know why they went, but I wish thing had went better," Mrs. Weasley said, and then left the room, mumbling to herself about the Durselys and how "positively awful" they were to "such a nice young man such as Harry".

After all the elder members of the Order were gathered around the table, Mrs. Weasley flicked her wand and the dishes of food flew from the kitchen to the table. Alexandra inhaled the wonderful aromas, and her stomach growled. Mrs. Weasley then hollered for her children to come and eat. The first ones in were Fred and George, who you knew were likely to eat more than a baby whale. Then Phlegm, eh-hem, Fleur came bustling in, practically dragging a very grumpy looking Bill with her. Ginny ran into the room, a letter and mirror in hand. Now, Ginny isn't vain, but you'd think she was at least crazy if you didn't know she was talking to Harry with the two-way mirror (Harry had given it to her so that they would be able to keep in contact, knowing full well that Mrs. Weasley would constantly worry and that Whale-man, Vernon Dursley would have an aneurism if there was a constant flow of owls to Number four Privet drive. And also for the fact that though they were no longer together, they still loved each other and loved to hear the other's voice).

on Harry's End

"Harry, we're about to eat. When are you all going to get here?" Ginny asked him.

"Well I don't now exactly. Ron and I have something to take care of. Piggy boy was rather rude about some things over the summer, and we haven't repaid him yet."

"Oh, well, Mum says that Ron is forbidden from performing any magic on the Muggles, but concedes that she has no control over you or Hermione, but she shall be rather disappointed in you both if you do anything. Remus says to use wandless magic so that the Ministry can't track it," Ginny's voice announced.

"Oh, and tell Ronnie that Alexandra Kincaid has arrived. And you should really get going if you want to hex Dudley and get back before Charlie gets here, and he and Fred and George eat everything," she added.

"Okay, bye. We'll be there in a little while; Hermione might Apparate out to the Burrow sooner than us."

Ginny said goodbye, and Harry tuned back into the world around him. Hermione was sitting across from him drinking tea and watching Aunt Petunia warily. Oddly enough, Hermione, it seemed, was 'tolerable' by the Dursley's standards. Especially after she fixed Petunia's prize vase and, without magic, fixed one of their many televisions. That was a rather odd occurrence. Ron, however, had replaced Harry has Dursley public enemy number one. Ron repeatedly used magic around them, some rather scary stuff for them. He turned Dudley into a pig twice and threatened to call in Mad-Eye every time using magic didn't shut them up. The Silencing charm was a VERY useful tool. Then Harry heard the "sotto voce" voice of his uncle.

"How dare you, you freak!" Vernon raged.

"I _dare_ because this summer is just payback for the way you've treated Harry," Ron calmly stated, walking into the dining room and sitting down next to Hermione.

"Hey, Ron, Ginny said that Alexandra Kincaid is at the Burrow, everyone is there for the wedding, and that if we want any decent food today, we should get going immediately." Harry smirked. They exchanged a glance, deciding to leave their mark on Privet Drive, permanently.

"Don't even think about it, you two. There is no way that I'm going to let you deface the neighborhood. I'll have to leave before anything happens. I'll take your things with me," Hermione said as she stood. She summoned their trunks fully packed and shrunk to fit her purse. Then she politely said good bye to the Dursleys, who just nodded and grumbled unintelligibly.

After Hermione had Apparated, Harry and Ron got up and went out of the house. They made their way to the park. They had several of Fred and George's latest joke products and they set them off. Soon the park had a swamp, a small pink dragon, and several other magical creatures. A crowd was beginning to gather and then Harry heard several pops as ministry officials appeared. Harry and Ron Apparated to the Burrow were Mrs. Weasley was waiting to yell at them.

"Ronald Weasley! I thought I told you not to do anything! Your father was just called and told that there was a fair bit of magic being displayed in front of a large group of Muggles! They can't even get that God forsaken swamp off the street! What made you even think of using those joke things on Muggles?" Mrs. Weasley hollered.

"Mum, we didn't use them on any Muggles! Do you think we're that thick? Geez! . . . So where's Alex? Ginny said she was here," Ron said, changing the subject and ducking into the dining room.

"Hi ickle Ronnie-kins! Did you miss me?" Alexandra called from her seat. Fred and George started laughing, having been reminded of their old pet name for Ron.

"Ah, why did you have to call me that? They haven't called me that in years and now . . . " Ron trailed off. Fred and George had started to sing a song they liked to call "Ickle Ronnie-kins and the Rubber Piggies of DOOM."

It was, needless to say, quite hilarious. No one could help the convulsions of laughter that overtook them. Soon the lot of them were laughing so hard that Alex had somehow fallen off her chair, so had Ginny and Remus and Tonks and Bill. Harry was laughing so hard he had to lean on the door frame for support. At that moment Charlie Weasley came in the front door, and followed his ears to the laughter. When he entered the dining room he accidentally bumped into Harry, who fell to the floor, still laughing. Everyone looked up and Fred decided to sing even louder.

When the laughter finally died down, everyone greet Harry Ron and Charlie, and Hermione came down stairs.

"You know, Fred, I could hear you all the way up stairs. You really shouldn't pick on Ron, he's delicate as it is," Hermione chastised them with a grin, making Ginny, Bill, Charlie, Harry, and the twins start laughing again.

"Evil gits," mumbled Ron.

"Moving on, Harry, allow me to introduce Alexandra Kincaid. She's an Auror, Order Member, and a bunch of other things. She went to school with Bill," Mrs. Weasley cut in, trying to divert everyone from their Ron Bashing.

End First Bit


	2. Hogwarts, Dumbeydore and Voldie

**Title:** Dratted Death Eaters!

**Author:** Super Smexy Snuffles

**Beta:** R. F. Lupin

**Disclaimer: **Already covered this . . .

**A/N:** None at present.

For other information, please see first chapter.

Chapter 2

"Nice to meet you Alexandra," Harry said.

"You won't think that after your lessons start. But thank you anyway," Alex smiled, and the Weasley boys grinned at each other. Their first love had returned to them, and even Bill smiled at her while she spoke to everyone. Phlegm was, needless to say, not liking this Kincaid woman one iota.

When everyone had finished eating, Remus asked Alexandra if he could talk to her, privately. They left the room and went outside.

"Alex, you realize that your presence here will not go undetected. Thus it is that, Minerva and I, as well as several others, believe it is time you claimed your godfather's house. Albus Dumbledore left his earthly possessions to you for a reason, one that you know better than anyone, I'd wager," Remus told her as they moved out of the Burrow's lawn.

"I believe what you are trying to say is that you think that his house has just the sort of special protections on it that only he could have managed and that that is where I should take the Weasley horde, and Miss Granger, and Mr. Potter and Longbottom?"

"Well, yes actually."

"Tell Minnie that I had already intended to do just that. Also tell her that it would be better if she allowed me and those teenagers access to Hogwarts at any time. I know that if they start losing hope at any point this year, that Hogwarts will rejuvenate them as it did me."

"I understand what you are saying, but your bond is infinitely stronger than theirs. That is where Dumbledore found you, all those years ago."

Hogwarts, Twenty-seven years ago

Albus Dumbledore was entering his office, Minerva McGonagall following behind.

"You realize that in September they will all be here, right Albus?" McGonagall asked as she sat in one of the chairs before his desk. Dumbledore was, of course, now sitting in his own chair.

"Yes, Minerva I do. There is just the matter of the other. I do not understand how this one will be a part of their lives," Albus sighed.

Then they heard a loud crack, and before the stood a small girl with raven black curls and sapphire eyes, no older than two years old. She looked around her surroundings and took everything in. When her eyes finally landed on the two adults in the room, she smiled. She held out an envelope, a rather large one. She let go of it and it floated to the Headmaster, landing on the desk before him. He opened it and read.

_To Headmaster Albus Dumbledore (Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorcerer, Chief Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confederation of Wizards),_

_This is the other. She is named Alexandra Kincaid, though that is not her family name, we have change that to protect her. She popped into Hogsmeade when she was an infant, in the year two thousand and eight. She spent the next two years with various Order members. We kept her safe as per the letter with her requested. She was deposited in our time period from several hundred years prior. We are unsure as to whom sent her, but it was discovered that she was born in Hogwarts. We believe her to be the missing daughter of Godric Gryffindor, the only child born in Hogwarts. If you recall the legend, the babe disappeared four days after she had been introduced to the wizarding community, following a vision from the Lady Gryffindor. What is most shocking is that her first words were far beyond what a normal child her age would have been capable of; they were "Hogwarts, Dumbeydore, and Voldie." The meaning of these being obvious to us for reasons we cannot divulge at this time. Furthermore we were instructed to bring her to Hogwarts, exactly two years after we found her, and place her in the Headmaster's office with this letter, written exactly as we have. It was explained that she would then be taken to the time she was needed most. Her first words told us she would be coming to you, and after that, it is history that tells us what she shall become._

_Sincerely, _

_Those Whom Seek the Salvation of the World_

Looking up from the letter, Albus saw that the child was now asleep on an armchair, Fawkes perched on it above her shoulder.

End Sojourn to the past


	3. Oh Ye of Little Faith

**Title:** Dratted Death Eaters!

**Author:** Super Smexy Snuffles

**Beta:** R. F. Lupin

**Disclaimer:** Already went through this . . .

**Summary:** It is the first Order meeting all of the Weasley children, Harry, and Hermione will attend since Dumbledore died. What will happen when a shocking truth is revealed? Find out now, oh ye of little faith. Also a little more background for y'all.

**A/N: **Firstly, R&R please! Comments and feedback make nice presents!

Secondly, there's a trip to the Department of Backstory in this one, and I feel it's necessary to mention that this fic shares a lot in common (namely, a character and her relationship) with "Scattered" by R. F. Lupin. If you want the full story about Pippa, please read that one . . . More at 11:00.

Chapter 3: Oh Ye of Little Faith

There were so many things Alexandra wished she had done in her life. Many included being able to save her godfather, but that wasn't possible and she knew it. Albus had told her of her origins when she was seventeen, which was actually three years after she was supposed to turn seventeen. It was now her job to continue his work, save Harry and the world, and prepare that world for the age to come.

Remus was still talking to her; she had spaced out, but came back in at the point where he was suggesting some good methods for dealing with "Gred" and "Forge."

"I know you have teaching experience, but I am very capable of handling the Weasley Wonder Twins. I've known Gred and Forge since they were born, they don't stand a chance," she told him.

Remus laughed, probably the most he had since he became the last _true_ Marauder. Alex smiled; it was always good to make other people happy. With that thought, memories of her childhood with Lily and James and the Marauders and Morganna, and all the others came back in a rush. Oh how she missed them all.

"Would you like to see them again?" Alexandra asked him quietly. She knew that he would understand whom she meant.

"Not yet, I will see them when this is over. And that will have to be good enough for me," Remus said quietly.

Alex nodded, then took a deep breath and began,

"This will take some explaining, but about . . . "

Their voices faded and those listening to their conversation, namely Fred and George, strained to hear the rest, but it was as though a Mufiliato spell had been cast over the entire household and all its inhabitants.

Harry was sitting in the kitchen, stuffing his face in a Marauder-like way, having noted the buzzing in his ears. He stood, excused himself from the table, and went out into the backyard. Ron, Hermione, and Ginny following closely behind and joining him beneath a tree.

"Ron, Ginny, tell me about Alex," Harry began. "I heard Lupin saying she was Dumbledore's god daughter? Tell me all you know." He felt he already knew some of it nipping at him.

Ginny was the one who answered him.

"Well, see Alex is actually Alexandra Isabella Gryffindor, youngest daughter of Godric Gryffindor, and your Great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great Aunt. She was born in Hogwarts, and disappeared shortly after she was born. She appeared in the future, in I think, 2008. When she was about two she appeared in 1969 or 1970."

She recited all this as if from rote memory. Harry interrupted her before she could continue.

"How is that possible? Godric Gryffindor lived over a thousand years ago, and 2008 is eleven years in the future!"

"Time travel, obviously," Hermione said matter-of-factly. "I mean, even though she was an infant and toddler at the times she did it, she traveled through time without a Time-Turner. Which means she was at Hogwarts . . . " She trailed off as she realized who was at Hogwarts in 1970.

"With my parents!" Harry finished eagerly. "She knew them! She knew Lupin, too, did you see the way he looked at her? Like a ghost from long ago?" He was nearly overwhelmed with implications of his musings.

Ron decided it was time to move on and elaborated.

"She was there the whole while, then she came forward in time and went to Hogwarts the same year as Bill. She was a second year when You Know Who killed your parents. Bill says she collapsed when Dumbledore told her. He heard her sobbing as she was scooped up by her godfather and taken to the hospital wing. Lupin came the next day, and took her out of school for three weeks."

"She was raised in Hogwarts, by your parents, the Marauders, their friends, and Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall," Ginny said. "She even owns the castle and it's grounds . . . But what you really need to know is that Dumbledore entrusted everything he knew about You Know Who to her, and left her everything, including control of the Order, and knowledge of exactly what he planned." Ginny had to pause for breath at this point, and Hermione saw fit to mention something she had "overheard."

"She's been in hiding since the Death Eaters found out Dumbledore had done this. They want to torture the prophecies out of her."

"Wait, what prophecies? I know about mine, but what others?" Harry asked.

"Well I don't know that," Hermione answered. "Mama Weasley and Remus realized I was there and stopped talking immediately. But you know what? Even your Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon had met her."

"'Mama Weasley?'" Ron interjected, having the attention span and mentality of a two year old. "Not you too! First Pippa, then Alex, now you! Good gracious, she wants you to marry one of us!" He wailed, and moaned, "Oh, what a disaster! I think I'm going to go get some food." He got up and returned to the house, mumbling about "crazy women," "the end of the world," and something about Alexandra and Pippa being the bane of his existence.

Harry knew that Pippa had been Bill's first serious girlfriend. His fiancée, actually, but she had been shot and killed by one of her ex-bosses before the wedding could take place. Ginny had explained all this to Harry earlier that summer, after Fleur found Bill's old pictures of Pippa in his drawer.

"Ginny, don't take offense, but your whole family is a bit insane," Hermione laughed.

"Don't worry about it," Ginny said as she and Hermione got up to leave.

Harry really needed to think, and only returned to the house sometime later, finding the Order members gathered around the kitchen table again.

Alexandra had come back and Remus was uncharacteristically fidgety, yet oddly ecstatic. As all the people currently residing at the Burrow were members of the Order (even Ginny and the others, such as Fred, George, Hermione, Ron, Bill, Phlegm), it was decided that they could all be present for the meeting. Professor McGonagall and Mr. Weasley were the last to arrive. Once everyone was seated around the table, McGonagall began her list of assignments. All were in code, and everyone except the newest members knew the code. Once all the assignments were announced (the youngest members didn't get any), Alexandra stood, and began,

"Okay, so as you are all aware, two years ago Sirius fell through the curtain in the Department of Mysteries. It was believed that this curtain lead to the Realm of the Dead, thus killing Sirius." Several people were watching Harry, because the mention of his godfather still upset him. "This is not the case however," Alex continued. "After my own trip through the curtain, I know that it is, in fact, a passage to other realms. And it changes often. It is only a doorway to the Realm of the Dead every thirty-five years. On the day Sirius fell through it, there were still twenty-three years until it would lead to that particular place."

"Does this mean . . . " Harry began, but he never got a chance to finish.

"Oh ye of little faith! I'm Sirius-freaking-Black! I outwitted Dementors, escaped Azkaban, and evaded the Ministry. Do you really think _drapery_ could kill me?"

Sirius Orion Black was standing casually in the doorway of the Weasley kitchen, a rather smug grin on his still-gaunt face.

There was a tense silence, and no one spoke for a full minute. Then, in a flurry of movement, numerous redheads, a werewolf, Harry, and several others practically tackled Sirius to the ground.

"Wow, I should die more often," Sirius mused. "Okay folks, a man needs to breath. And Molly, I really missed your cooking, so . . . Got anything for me to eat?" He was partially back to what Remus would call his "old self."

Molly Weasley, being unaccustomed to non-ghosts returning from the dead, had a bit of a delayed reaction. Complete pandemonium broke out at this point as everyone started asking questions about where he had been, who he had seen and what not.

"Well, I was in the Elf Realm, then the Water Realm, and after that there were so many. I think I need a Pensieve for all of it," Sirius explained as he ate some beef stew and bread. "Now, what have I missed?"

Professor McGonagall, who had started to tear up when she saw him, was now back to her normal, brisk, self and immediately asked, "Mr. Black, when precisely did you return?"

"Four months ago, I attended the funeral with Alex and Pi . . um . . . someone else. Alex had disguised us. Then we had to go into hiding for a while. I know about Dumbledore, and how much Harry knows. Now, I have messages for Harry and Remus, so if you two will come with me?"

Sirius, Harry, and Remus all left the room and went upstairs.

"In the other realms, contact with the Elysian Fields is a common practice," Sirius began. "The Elysian Fields are where good people go when they die. Well, I was contacted by James and Lily. They both wanted me to tell you that they love both of you. Remus, they say they are sorry for ever suspecting you, and are grateful for the times you checked up on Harry.

After Remus indulged in a small smile, Sirius continued hurriedly.

"Harry, they wanted you to know that they love you so much and want you to return to Godric's Hollow. They believe one of the Horcruxes is in the ruins of the mansion, the shield of Godric Gryffindor. It cannot be removed from the property by anyone other than a Gryffindor descendant, something no one knows unless they attempt it."

Sirius watched as all that he said registered with them. Both began to tear up.

"We will be going there in two days," Harry announced finally. "I had planned to go after the wedding, but now I don't think I can wait anymore." He had matured a lot in the last months; almost all his adolescent qualities were gone.

But, like a true Potter, he would never really grow up.


	4. A Horcrux and a Headache

Chapter 4: A Horcrux and a Headache

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The rain poured in a torrential onslaught and lightning illuminated the sky, thunder rolled in the heavens, a sense of change clung to the air. Harry arrived at Godric's Hollow flanked by Remus and Sirius, Godric's sword in its scabbard at his hip. The entire north side of the house was little more than a ruin, the site pulled at their hearts.

"Now, Dumbledore left details on how to destroy a Horcrux. What we know is that you must have thoughts of love in your mind and heart and that you must say this: _'Diligo in Vita , Diligo in Nex , purgo malum huic locus quod malum huic animus. In nomen of Lux lucis EGO operor precor vestri ops , expello Umbra hinc'." _Remus explained to him.

Harry crossed the threshold of his parents home, followed closely by his parents friends. Sirius paused at the remnants of the stairs, eyes closed, his hands were shaking.

Harry glanced at him just as his eyes snapped open. Sirius offered a reassuring look, determined to not let his anger and despair become visible.

Thoughts flitted through his mind, flashes of faces, and memories that he cherished. He thought of his parents and all those lost to Voldemort. All those killed or corrupted by the vile machinations of a loathsome, twisted soul. He made his way through the crumbling house, taking in everything, and his resolve strengthening. When, at last he reached the mantle, above which the Shield did hang, he paused. He unsheathed the sword, the metal ringing and resonating the power of the Founder who wielded it.

And in the inherent gloom of the once magnificent home, his voice rang out with the ancient words of the spell.

"_Diligo in Vita , Diligo in Nex , purgo malum huic locus quod malum huic animus. In nomen of Lux lucis EGO operor precor vestri ops , expello Umbra hinc." _He thrust the sword into the shield, using it as a conduit for the magic.

An intense, and nigh on blinding light filled every corner of the ruin, spreading out and brightening the entire area. Then the light was sucked back in, in a black hole sort of way, and the three were left looking at the remains of the Shield. The horcrux was destroyed, and Harry breathed a sigh of relief. As he made to leave he stepped on something that lay on the floor. He bent to retrieve it, and realized that it was a picture of his parents, him, and Remus and Sirius. The glass of the frame was broken as was the frame itself. He pulled the picture from it and a folded piece of parchment fell to the floor. It was a letter, to him from his parents. It was in two different hand writings, and you could tell that Lily and James and fought over the quill at some points, there were even a few tearstains on it.

'_Dearest Harry, _

_Hopefully, by the time you read this Voldemort will be no more than a tragic and harsh memory. If this is not the case, we are likely no longer with you, and for that we are sorry. But with any luck, you have Sirius and Remus to help you. We love you so much and are proud of the man you've become. **(Don't let Sirius call you Prongsie Junior, son. Because you probably have your own Animagus by now. Your Mother says not to even think about that if you aren't legal, but I say if it is necessary you do it.) Now, Harry, you must go into the study, in the portrait of our family, you will find what you need.** Do not worry, you are the only one who can read this, and the only one that can remove the portrait. Listen to Remus, stay out of trouble, and live knowing we love you more than anything._

_With all our Love,_

_Mom &** Dad**_

_P.S. Tell Remus we are sorry, he will know why. As for Sirius, tell him we are sorry to. We didn't mean to leave you three alone and Love you all._

_**P.P.S. I hope you play Quidditch son.**_

_P.P.P.S. That was your father and if you don't want to play Quidditch, you don't have to._

_**P.P.P.P.S. But you should…**'_

Harry's eye were filling with tears as he looked up from the letter. Sirius and Remus were giving him worried looks. He gave a weak smile.

"Mom and Dad say that they love you both and that they are sorry, and that you know what they are talking about. Now," his voice cracked slightly and he paused. "Where is the study?"

Sirius and Remus lead him to the study, or what was left of it, in the northern wing of the house. The room surrounding the painting was almost entirely destroyed, the frame had some char marks and deep scratches on it, but the actual painting was unharmed. It depicted his parents, his mother holding him, and a table with a large basket of flowers, all of which was set before a massive window that featured the Hogwarts grounds in winter. Harry swiped the tears from his eyes, and touched the portrait. He felt a pulling sensation and then he was in the portrait. His parents stood before him, holding the baby that he had been. His father smiled at him and pointed to something behind him.

Harry turned and there he saw a round mahogany case, and a silver dagger resting on the table, both conveniently hidden from view behind the flowers. The moment he picked the items up he felt the same pulling sensation, and he was back in the study.

"Harry? You have what they left for you right?" Remus asked and Harry nodded.

Harry suddenly felt a pain in his head, and he grimaced as it grew to a throbbing headache.

"We have to leave. Now, Voldemort is trying to locate me through my scar, he might suspect something"

They hurriedly left the ruin and Apparated back to the Burrow. Four down, three to go…

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Please Review! I'm sorry it took so very long to update! Tootles m'dears!

Snuffles


	5. Suicides and Gnomes

**Title:** Dratted Death Eaters

**Author:** Super Smexy Snuffles

**Beta:** RFLupin

**Disclaimer:** We already went over this...

**Rating:** Jellyfish...squishy but deadly...ok let's go with PG-13

**Chapter 5: Suicides and Gnomes**

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It had been a week since the trip to the Hollow, and there was an air of hope permeating their daily activities. All of which had been growing increasingly more…structured. Alexandra had systematically taken over their education. And it was brutal, so much so that Fleur volunteered to go on errands for absolutely everyone to escape. You see, Alexandra believed that first you must hone reflexes and speed, before learning more spells and charms. Mrs. Weasley agreed wholeheartedly, and they had collaborated and devised a routine: wake(loudly and/or with force if necessary), stretch, warm up, run a mile(half to a point then return), breakfast(no overindulging), training/chores( if there was a way to incorporate one in the other they found it), lunch, and reviewing all that the should know by now, until dinner, then immediately to bed. To whom did this extend? Why every member of the order, well they all participated in the training and chores(especially the Weasley Horde, Harry, Hermione, and Neville, whom had arrived two days previous). Seeing as all of them would be residing in the Burrow for some time, it seemed only reasonable. Minnie had agreed it was sensible and fair, and all were obliged to participate at least marginally( most managed to escape after lunch).

"Today, you will run Gnome Suicides. You run from the backdoor, to the middle of the yard, then back to the door, then to the fence. You are required to de-gnome the place in the process. I will run as well, but the gnomes are yours to tackle." With that last comment she blew her whistle, and they proceeded.

They were steadily growing more accustomed to the way their training progressed. Fred and George could also be counted on to liven things up a bit. Today, as they ran, they had a gnome war. As they de-gnomed their sections, they hurled gnomes at everyone from Harry and the other younger people, to Sirius and Remus who had gathered to watch. Bill and Charlie were running as well, but everyone knew not to throw at them, Charlie would punch any _guy_, and Bill was likely to hex you to hell and back.

The result was, after everyone else was dismissed for lunch, Fred and George had to do forty-three push ups( the grand total they had hurled at others, before Bill, in a fit of extreme grumpiness, hit them with the Jelly-legs hex thus making them topple).

* * *

Phlegm had developed an intense dislike for Alexandra, largely because all were at ease with her, and had accepted her immediately. Fleur, meanwhile had to feign sweetness and sunshine to people she cast as beneath her. 

This culminated in a row between the two…

The whole house echoed with their arguing, and they were arguing in the middle of the kitchen. Convenient for all that wanted to view the spectacle. Sirius had made popcorn, and along with Harry, Remus, and the twins, sat a the table eating and watching. Bill stood in the doorway with Charlie, both were frowning, but kept Mama Weasley from rushing in to stop the fight. Indeed, Mama Weasley made few attempts to stop it, she was practically cheering for Alex. Someone was in fact cheering, and giggling in between, but nobody could discern who. Hermione and Ginny were absent, sent on an errand by Alex. All anyone knew was that it somehow involved Bill, and that that was what set off the fight.

"'Ow dare you! Zis is ridiculous!" Phlegm screeched, her arms flailing about. "Bill iz mine!"

"Stuff it you stroppy cow! I am done with this! You are a conceited little brat and you do not deserve the honor of marrying anyone, let alone one of the Weasleys. They are far to good for you, and it high time all realized it! You are not meant for any of them!" This caused gasps. When Alex said something to that effect, it was undoubtedly true. She had been to the future, she knew what would occur.

Phlegm gaped at her, then the words sunk in and their meaning did not escape even her. She screeched, becoming the horrid looking Veela that was half her pedigree. She launched herself at Alex. She was stopped by a hand that had forcefully pulled her back by her shirt, then let her drop to the ground.

"Retract your claws Veela, you do not wish to tempt fate," a cool and sarcastic voice entered, amid gasps of recognition. It was a woman, tall and thin with dark brown hair, and flanked by Hermione and Ginny, who nigh on clung to the hand she had clasped between both of her hands.

Mrs. Weasley clutched at her heart, and muttered "Oh, my sweet heavens is that…"

"Pippa?" Bill's shocked voice finished the question, and Mrs. Weasley fainted. Charlie caught her.

Sirius of course felt the need to comment in what he thought an ominous tone…

"Has the former fiancée returned from the grave? What new trials shall our heroes face, in the next installment of the top-rated soap opera, 'Wizard Angst'? Tune in and find out…"

Needless to say Alexandra immediately smacked him up side the head.

* * *


	6. When Cows Attack!

**Dratted Death Eaters**

**Chapter 6: When Cows Attack!**

* * *

If you were a logical person you would assume that either Bill or Fleur would cry off in the face of Pippa's return, sadly Bill was to much of a gentlemen and Fleur wanted to make the Weasleys suffer. Luckily for the Weasleys, Fred and George had decided to move back to the Burrow. They claimed it was because of the tension and danger of living in Diagon Alley, but mostly it was figured they wanted to harass Fleur into retreating. Ron, Harry, Charlie, and Ginny, joined them in this endeavor. And where Mama Weasley would have ordinarily told them off or punished them, she gave them free reign where Fleur was concerned.

And as hectic as life was in the Burrow, the fervor increased with the tension. Fleur was alone in her belief that she was wronged. Bill had not brought Pippa back from the past, nor had he cheated on her.

Bill was tormented by the situation. He loved Pippa but in his fashion he loved Fleur as well. However, as a gentleman, he felt that if someone was to cry off it had to be Fleur, but he would not force the issue.

Meanwhile Alex forced everyone to move on with their business and conscripted everyone into training. And occasionally she was seen to be conversing in hushed tones with Fred and George, and always the following day there would be some prank on the stroppy cow. Speaking of cows…

"Stop zis Charlie! I vill claw out your eyes!" Fleur screeched.

Why is she screeching? Well Charlie had been out at a Muggle junkshop and had com across one of those little cans that moo when you turn it upside down. Every time Fleur attempted to speak, entered a room, or did anything really, he would flip it continuously until she left in a huff. Right now however he was merely part of a bigger scheme. He was distracting her, and she was to stupid to notice.

"Is wittle Phlegm upset?" he asked, speaking as though she were a small, slow child.

Her right eye twitched, one could even call it a seizure of the eye, and she turned her hands into her Veela claws. As she was about to strike him, Fred, George, Harry, Ron, and Ginny brushed past her. Ginny even "accidentally" ran into her, tipping the cow to the side. She cried out in anger, but stormed off to the room she had been given. Before she turned the corner, a jet of magic hit the air above her, alas the effect was lost as she ran into the room.

Moments later her angry screams were heard, likely clear to the next county. Bill, who had been outside talking with Alex and Pippa, ran up immediately, with the two following behind. The site that met their eyes was just to0 wonderfully hilarious.

All of Fleur's belongings had been transfigured into what appeared to be rubber cows, only they moved around and were about the size of a chocolate frog. But the icing on the cake was the foreboding cloud of doom that rained rubber piggies and cows down on her. Then the little rain piggies and cows of DOOM would float around, dive bomb her, and ran at her feet.

Bill could barely contain his laughter, but Alex and Pippa felt no need to restrain themselves. They were leaning against the door, consumed by fits of laughter, and the crowd outside the door had grown to include everyone. There were some who contained their mirth, but most burst into laughter.

Fleur was so angry she started throwing things. Then she turned on Alex and Pippa.

"Zis vas your doing you bitches!" She lunged for them but Bill grabbed her around the waist.

"You'll not attack my parents guests." he picked her up an sat her in a chair by the window and turned to the twins. "Fix it as soon as possible."

"The rest of you go about your business. Now!" Bill ordered, he wanted to laugh but knew now was not the time. The crowd dispersed and Bill went to leave.

"This was not their doing. And I will leave the decision to you as to whether or not we get married. I made a promise, I'll not break it." Bill walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. Moments after he left, the cloud disappeared, and her stuff returned to its normal condition.

She broke down and cried. When she stopped, she had made her decision, and she was going to enjoy it.

* * *

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**Snuffles**


	7. Uninvited Guests

**Dratted Death Eaters**

**Chapter 7: Uninvited Guests**

* * *

The day of the wedding dawned clear a beautiful. All the preparations were complete and the outdoor wedding, set in the beautiful woods not far from the Burrow, would be starting quite soon. The bride was ready, not nervous in the least. The groom, however, was heart sore, he cared about his bride but just as he was going to step on the aisle runner that sat between the seats, he realized he did not love her.

"Alex said they would not get married. She's never been wrong before, I just don't understand," Ginny cried sitting with Hermione, both of whom were bridesmaids.

"There is a lot that can happen between now and the ceremony." Hermione tried to comfort her, but seemed on the verge of tears herself.

Meanwhile Fleur waited in silence for the show to begin. She had plunged into the wedding planning, ignoring almost everything else. A normal person would think she did so out of a resolve to win her man, but some could see the diabolical gleam that had lodged itself in her eyes.

It worried the Weasleys. Would their son be forced to wed this evil little woman?

At last the moment came. All the guests were seated and Bill stood at the end of the aisle, at a white gazebo. Next to him stood The Honorable Belinda Blair of the Ministry Department for Weddings Amongst Magical Folk, of the First International Church of the Wand. He was flanked on both sides by the groomsmen and the brides maids.

The music started, and Fleur mad her way down the aisle. She looked beautiful, but there was a terrible aspect to her that had not been there before. She made her way to the alter and stopped before Bill. Blair began the ceremony.

Soon they reached the I do's, no one having stood up with reason for them not to wed out of respect for Bill's wishes.

Bill said I do.

Fleur, however, said something else. "I'll not marry him."

There was a collective gasp from Fleur's relations, and an audible sigh of relief from the Weasleys' side.

Fleur turned away and ran back up the aisle and she kept running. She made it almost to the edge of the wood where the wedding was to have taken place, when she screamed.

"Death Eaters! We're under attack!" her voice was cut of and pandemonium ensued.

The order swept through the crowds of people. Harry ordered Neville and Ginny as well as all the others to get to safety. When they began to protest, he told them he need them to protect the others, get all the children as far away as possible.

He and the rest joined in the fight. The Death Eaters swarmed the place. He fought as hard as any, but saw from the corner of his eye, that several were down, and looked…he pushed the thought from his head. Focusing on the attack he beat back opponent after opponent, Hermione and Ron fighting alongside of him. Soon, they were flanked by Sirius, Remus, Alex, Bill, Pippa, Fred, George, Tonks, Kingsley, and many others.

They fought the Death Eaters back and finally forced them into retreat, managing to capture four. Avery, Nott, Crabbe Sr., and Goyle Sr. were all now in the custody of the Order, to be turned over to the Ministry once Mad Eye and Sirius finished a rather arduous questioning session.

In the after math of the battle, Alex wandered the area, caring for the injured and aiding the Medi-Witches as best she could. While others cleared away those who had not survived. She located all of those that Neville and Ginny had gotten to safety, and then happened upon a most sad scene.

Bill, wounded though he was sat, holding the body of Fleur. A Medi-Witch was trying to get him to come away, but he remained as he was, pain emotional etched across his face. She had been the first to die, and was the last to have been found.

Alex turned away, giving him his privacy.

The chaos was cleaned up, but the scene etched into the memory of all present, was pushed aside. It was time for the order to relocate. In the time it would take to blink they would all be gone, away from the Burrow, away to Dumbledore's house, a beautiful manor, hidden in Scotland, in the Highlands. Away from every place Voldemort knew of. The war had begun again, like a storm waiting to consume everything.

* * *

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**-Muse-**


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